Eli Manning — Let’s Take a Few Pot Shots

I came home from work last night, upset and bored knowing that I had to wait until Thursday night for any good television to be on (Jersey Shore). Then, I was pleasantly surprised to be graced with a Jets-Giants preseason game. I saw Eli Manning, laughed at him, and my hatred returned. He’s such a silly boy. Then, he busted his forehead open when he decided not to hand the ball off to Brandon Jacobs without communicating his intent to his running back.

Let’s make one thing clear — laughing at injuries is never condoned. But this wasn’t an injury, it was a boo-boo. Eli will be fine. But nonetheless, I didn’t have to wait long (big surprise) to see Eli’s ever-present whining-panicked-crying look return to his ugly mug. I can’t stand that look, yet it’s all you see when you watch a Giants game on TV.

I intended to write my first football article on the Patriots and their upcoming season — look for that shortly — but this picture of Eli just couldn’t wait. So how will the Giants do this year? I think they are all-around fairly solid, they just really aren’t that good at anything. I’ve always liked Brandon Jacobs and what he brings to the field. But they still have Eli, who despite all the ruckus you hear from Giants fans about his 27 TD’s and 4,000 yards last year, still had 23 turnovers on his own. That’s just not gonna cut it. I think they’ll torture Giants fans as usually, ultimately ending the season slightly better than mediocre. But before you jump down my throat just wait, my Patriots predictions will be upon you shortly.

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23 Comments

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23 responses to “Eli Manning — Let’s Take a Few Pot Shots

  1. j-bone

    yeah a guy that got 12 stiches walked off the field, paul pierce would have needed an electronic wheelchair and his mommy holding his hand while they stitched it up and after kissed his boo boo.

    • That’s cause Paul Pierce is sexy and must protect his beautiful mug. Also, Paul Pierce is not claiming to be a football player.

      • j-bone

        paul pierce most closely resembles bubbles from the wire.

        what would you want him to do he got up and got off the field. I know tom terrific would have levitated off because he is your personal savior but unfortunately eli is just a man

      • Hahahaha. I didn’t know who this “Bubbles” was, but I looked it up and it’s pretty accurate. I’d say they are both sexy. Eli is just a little school girl, is more like it. Tom is man enough that he can’t be cut.

  2. j-bone

    giants cut a little into his pride when they put him on the turf throughout the super bowl.

    • Nah, his pride was fine. He still drove down the field and scored what everyone thought was the go-ahead to win the game. Plus, that should cut into his O-lines pride, not his.

  3. Teck

    Theres no defending Eli….he could be an MVP and lead the league in TD’s but he’d still be a huge idiot, just becasue of his dumb face.

    Sorry, but its the triple truth ruth!

  4. A. Rab Money

    yes teck, that was even more idiotic than any face eli may make. Im not quite sure what you meant by they are not that good at anything. last year their qb was top 10 in the league and Steve Smith was 2nd in the league in recetions, plus with the depth of young recievers they have i would say they have a very good passing attack. The verdict will be out on their D until we see a few games, with the new D coordinator. The running game which was best in the league 2 years ago, should regain its momentum with a healthy O line.

  5. Teck

    his stats dont matter…hes a clown. He could be the best QB in the league (which hes not even close) and hed still be the worst just casue of his dumb face.

    Triple Truth Ruth….god dont you people watch movies, its from “Do The Right Thing”

    To quote another movie – Step brothers. ” i dont know what it is but whenever i look at your(Eli’s) face i just want to punch it as hard as i can.”

    • Another quote from real life, “Movies are for people who’s lives aren’t worth making a movie about.” — Geoff Roberts
      Eli is still a clown though — but you should go outside and get some sun.

      • Kevin Youkillis

        I’m trying to fit in a joke about the movie “The Book of Eli” but cant get a one good cause i havent seen it and it stars Denzel Washington who is studly.

        I didn’t really watch the game, I saw sanchez throw that interception, saw brandon jacobs gain a yard after 3 attempts at the one yard line and eventually score and i saw Eli get smacked in the head. I did not see one good play from either team because neither of them are the Eagles..
        it’s preseason boys, you can’t win a super bowl in preseason.. but you certainly can lose it. Better make sure Eli’s cut doest get infected. However if they have to amputate it he would be more attractive and possibly have better vision on the field.

        focus on a real sport right now.. Toms River, NJ.. close to my home town is running through the little league world series yet again.

    • j-bone

      so you are calling someone stupid looking and then quoting do the right thing?

      im pretty sure that eli is better then kevin kolb.

      and im pretty sure torment every year has a little bit more to do with the red sox then the giants

  6. Kevin Youkillis

    Do the right thing is a classic

    “Today’s temperature’s gonna rise up over 100 degrees, so there’s a Jheri curl alert! That’s right, Jheri curl alert. If you have a Jheri curl, stay in the house or you’ll end up with a permanent black helmet on your head forever!”

    and a more fitting quote

    Buggin’ Out: Why don’t you go back to Massachusetts?

    Clifton: I was born in Brooklyn!

    again, its a classic

  7. A. Rab Money

    it certainly wasnt too tormenting when they beat the pats in the superbowl. on the other hand, watching a star player shoot himself in the leg and then the season crumbling before our eyes after it was pretty tormenting. but yes optomistic as always. the years the G Men get no credit or recognition always tend to be their best.

  8. A. Rab Money

    also watch this and see what a freak our number one pick this year is. he is going to torment all the O lines and qb’s we face this season. he is the first one with his shirt off

    • Why would you ever show me something like this? I already think the Giants are a bunch of gymnastic loving babies — why are you so eager to prove it to me?

  9. Teck

    well im excited to see that the Giants drafted the next Kerri Strug

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