So I got to thinking — this is a sports and entertainment blog, right? Why not combine the two? The Jersey Shore Miami provided obvious inspiration — the big conflicting personalties and the ripped bodies (minus “Snickers”) pushed me over the top. I mean, Paul Pierce calls himself “the Truth” and Allen Iverson is “the Answer.” Ring any bells? The best part about the Jersey Shore is that it no longer needs to be a guilty pleasure — it is now so mainstream and so well loved that nobody is denying it any longer (guess I have to keep my love for Merideth Brooks’ “I’m a bitch” to myself). Jersey Shore has blossomed into what all reality TV strives to be — a perfect blend of emotions and trashiness thrown together in one hour of brilliance. Here is the end result of all this brainstorming — my list of which athlete is most similar to each of The Jersey Shore Miami’s characters.
The Situation & Terrell Owens — Come on, this one is easy. Both of these guys would have a press conference in their front yard just to do shirtless push-ups. The toned bodies and cocky attitudes match up, and they both run their mouths too much. But at the end of the day, you just can’t defend against em’.
Snooki & Glen “Big Baby” Davis — Both Snooki and Big Baby are both….well round and babyish. They both get overly emotional (just ask Kevin Garnett…he’s probably made them both cry), overly drunk, and dance horribly.
Sammi Sweetheart & Plaxico Burress — These two are very skinny, very “talented,” and at the end of the day both look like complete fools to the American public.
J-WoW & Serena Williams — This one is tough. These two could both beat the crap out of me. The both make loud noises when around balls. Yet I still sort of see the attraction? Maybe? All I know is if J-WoW saw Serena strolling down the beach she’d chase after her thinking she was one of her beloved “gorilla juice-heads.”
Pauli D & Tiger Woods — To me, this couldn’t be more obvious (and I couldn’t find many athletes with blowouts). Both of these guys do what they want when they want, bring their fans to their feet (Pauli as a DJ, Tiger as a golfer), and are reliable in the clutch. What more could you want?
Vinny & Albert Pujols — Silent and under-appreciated, these two are generally loved by all. And they both swing a big bat (as Snooki so eloquently told the world).
Ronnie & Rocky Balboa — These two are both stocky, jacked, stupid, and throw a mean right-hook. I picture Rocky drawling, “Yo Adriennnn!” then yelling at her and begging his way back into her arms. Picture Ronnie saying, “Yo Sammmm,” and then doing the same.
What do you think?
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